Making sense of my emotions

So research has recently discovered that what happens in the mind while one is high - is that there is a disinhibition in emotional perception and a inhibition in personal perception. As a result of this we feel like we've reached a new level of reality, a higher level of conciousness. But exactly how accurate is our emotions when we're high and how reliable can they be? Should I even trust my emotions?

I for one believe that your perception while high can be highly accurate and one may feel things that they could never while they were sober. It is this heightened perception to see things from other people's point of view that is affecting me the most. Sometimes its outright scary and weird. It reveals things to you that you probably would never want to actually know about.. I don't know if it's just paranoia but seeing the world from someone else's perspective is really frightening for me. To begin with I'd say I have really horrible personal and empathetic skills. So to realise that my understanding of the world around me is entirely different from everybody else is extremely scary.

In fact there is a danger in being good at seeing the point of view of others. It is possible to become so good at understanding the points of view of others that you forget your own point of view and wind up getting stepped on.

I guess I might sound a bit silly to most people but I always thought there was a "meta" for life. That life should be structured in a certain order with a heirarchical approach and I'm constantly pressuring myself to be as close as possible to that meta.
But I need to learn to let go of that kind of mentality, I need to release and free myself from these roots that are holding me down. I need to understand and feel comfortable that I think differently from other people and that I will never ever understand most people anyway so it's pretty pointless for me to keep worrying about it.


oh god, life is so upsetting..everything is so complicated for me.. maybe I'm just stupid and slow.. I don't know. A thousand questions, no answers.